on BEGINNINGS by kawakurdi
11 Aug 2002, 7:17 AM
slaves do certainly think and zero came along way after big numbers ... some good images .."cold oven" i like
on some deleted poem
12 Aug 2002, 1:34 PM
kind of nice if meant as a mature ironic comment on man's thinking with his dick and presenting as soul .. otherwise if you're about 14-15 not a bad effort at all .. i take it you checked dark angel's 3 am poem ... spot the difference ... and similarities !
on The Girl Who Wasn't Me by psychedelic
12 Aug 2002, 2:09 PM
you are indeed alone but i wonder why acid-awareness doesn't make this joyful
on Something Strong by Kriss
12 Aug 2002, 1:55 PM
i dunno where p&k it gets off rubbishing your work ; just read the juvenile garbage he ( i assume ) writes . BUT imho it's not very good. Zinnai66 said it all ... keep on keeping on
on life sucks sometimes..ditto by New Life Drug
10 Aug 2002, 2:44 PM
.life don't suck,it blows,from stranger quarters than you can possibly know ; self pity doesn't do it , wait a few years til you pity the world then top yourself because of guilt... anyhow, what happened ?
on some deleted poem
11 Aug 2002, 7:13 AM
as a child of the sixties you should know better than to give headspace to what "they" say about "god" . laughed at the punchline but reckoned it would have worked better as a haiku ( too long an inconsequential build-up (imho)
on In my weakest hour, I find my true strength by Rainbow_chaser
29 Jul 2002, 5:38 PM
okay ... it's a concept akin ro rhyme which is more of a slave-master than is meter ... making the sounds fit the syllables .... just think it needs a rewrite
on some deleted poem
29 Jul 2002, 12:24 PM
.... didn't really give us/them much to hate you for .....
on The Shining City by ErgoErgun
29 Jul 2002, 2:16 PM
the original was freedom from and ( mis- )translated as freedom to ..... just a thought ..... :)
on The Gravity of Love by april fool
29 Jul 2002, 11:50 AM
.. somewhat prudish methinks , and the one without the other would make for a cold marriage
on some deleted poem
29 Jul 2002, 11:57 AM
the second stanza would stand by itself with the african gravity balancing a weak ending ... seems like the form overpowers the words
on In my weakest hour, I find my true strength by Rainbow_chaser
29 Jul 2002, 12:09 PM
... you're a rainbow .... some editing may be in order perhaps ? scansion and suchlike
on ~Witchcraft~ by Lenore
28 Jul 2002, 5:03 PM
hi , i'm sure this works as a spell but the rhythm and rhymed form tries to hurry me urgently along while i need to linger on the images .... found that a bit unsettling . but created a nice picture at the end
on Ode to Thomas by RosiePosie
28 Jul 2002, 5:13 PM
sorry rosieposie but yuck ! the truth and sanctity of your destiny needs more careful presentation for an audience of poets
on Lost Dreams by DirtyKurtsGurl
12 Aug 2002, 1:42 PM
first 4 lines are brilliant almost rocking but then wimps out into muzak
on My Angel by mytenderrage
29 Jul 2002, 5:02 PM
and fluffy clouds even .... my gosh !
on I never Knew..... by SkateBoardGurl5799
10 Aug 2002, 2:36 PM
.... would be good if it meant something ...
on Clit by unknown
28 Jul 2002, 5:21 PM
.... lol ....