on THE BLESSING by Poetsettle
19 Apr 2004, 10:31 PM
it is not my heart speaks? or is it You speaks? I'm confused, but it seems either way it must be wrong. very confusing all around.
over-lit, I think.
doesn't do enough for me, though it does seem to be a start, the more I ponder on it. I think undulating may be less descriptive of the jersey city night than befits its number of syllables. But I really don't have any suggestions--just my reaction.
doesn't do enough for me, though it does seem to be a start, the more I ponder on it. I think undulating may be less descriptive of the jersey city night than befits its number of syllables. But I really don't have any suggestions--just my reaction.
on an exit into limbo by libby_28
19 Apr 2004, 10:36 PM
This is just really bad.
on How it should have happened by INTRANSIT
19 Apr 2004, 10:39 PM
interesting. I don't think you've caught me with your flow, but I don't have any suggestions.
velevt.
must needs add spellcheckerthingamyisthing. :/
I like "bonsai'd mountains" but don't see how it really fits. I want that in a poem all its own.
I like the image and feeling overall, though.
Oddly, tumefying did not mean at all what I was guessing it would.
must needs add spellcheckerthingamyisthing. :/
I like "bonsai'd mountains" but don't see how it really fits. I want that in a poem all its own.
I like the image and feeling overall, though.
Oddly, tumefying did not mean at all what I was guessing it would.
on some deleted poem
22 Apr 2004, 8:35 AM
very cute :)
yes, succumb and come feels off.
yes, succumb and come feels off.
on some deleted poem
22 Apr 2004, 8:49 AM
_very_ sweet.
on Tribute To Edgar Allen Poe by Fear of Garbage
22 Apr 2004, 12:38 PM
I don't get it.
Besides that, "aloud -> allowed".
Besides that, "aloud -> allowed".
on The Price You Pay by Fear of Garbage
22 Apr 2004, 12:40 PM
interesting.
on Seven Sins for Seven Men (Part 1) by wilco
22 Apr 2004, 2:07 PM
nice, but where are the six other sins?
on The How To on Haikus by <Wankster>
23 Apr 2004, 3:08 PM
"you've mastered the haiku poem" -- 8. I can't tell if that's satire or a mistake. 6.
on some deleted poem
23 Apr 2004, 3:10 PM
beautiful :)
on There Is No Such Thing As A Poem by Aetius
30 Apr 2004, 11:53 AM
I really like half of the lines, here. And the idea behind it. Actually, the more I read it, the more I like the idea behind it. moving a six to a seven.
favorite bits: monsters, ecstatic catharsis, and the syllabic trellises. :)
favorite bits: monsters, ecstatic catharsis, and the syllabic trellises. :)
on some deleted poem
3 May 2004, 10:33 PM
I don't quite like plasmic. But.
Very well done.
Especially the wrap-up.
Very well done.
Especially the wrap-up.
on Sonnet on an Operating Table by Sasha
8 May 2004, 12:02 PM
very cute. and points for being the first poster of the form.
on Truckers should not be poets by INTRANSIT
16 May 2004, 2:33 PM
The rhythm does seem a bit off, but villanelles are like that even when they're spot on, I think. You use some very simple rhymes, perhaps ironically, but that doesn't make them hurt less. I like the two lines you've used to repeat, and I really like that you alternate the leading. Negative points (in my book) for anything that asks for the context of poemranker. But. Dunno. For the form, and for what you're saying, I think you've done a decent job. Bonus for giving me fat to chew. This'll sit in my favorites for a bit regardless.
Though wasn't the deal she _accepted_ financial advice that she shouldn't have? As opposed to giving it?