poemranker ::20 most recent comments by nentwined (721-740) and replies

Comments bynentwined, 721–740 back, including replies. Only comments on poems

on Dr. Skellington by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 26 Jan 2003, 4:29 AM
it makes me chuckle, at least. 81% 76.8% la.

la la la.
on insomnia plunge by pomoxo 26 Jan 2003, 4:24 AM
interesting. I like the form a lot, but can't quite wrap myself around it nor submerge myself in it. yet... I like it.
on 3.85g by Crakyamuni 26 Jan 2003, 4:20 AM
hmm. could use some grammar/spelling work imo. curious what the g is -- before looking at the poem, I expected it to mean gravities. could also use some cliche work, and rhythm.
on Wild Child by crimzon 26 Jan 2003, 4:17 AM
The repetition thing is something I do much myself, but this feels... cluttered and bloated. try to chop some words and ponder more strongly the images you've got. as well, consider why you're actually writing the poem, what you want to convey.
on Abused by scitz 26 Jan 2003, 4:14 AM
Too simplistic for my tastes. "this then this then this then this", forced rhyme and cadence...
on Smoking Clitoris with PHD handles by <{Baba^Yaga}> 26 Jan 2003, 4:13 AM
why two p's in appology?
on poemrancour by JakeBike 21 Jan 2003, 11:12 AM
crack! crack crack crack! :squaw: crack!
on Tree (WARNING: do NOT hug!) by Yardbird 21 Jan 2003, 7:14 AM
cute.
replying on blues by <~> 20 Jan 2003, 2:27 PM
ohhhhhhhhhhhhh. hmm.

huh.
replying on what little I know by nentwined 19 Jan 2003, 11:24 AM
It's the little things that keep me up at night. (had to get up and write this down). The last n things I've written have only been 4 lines. strange, that. My attention span? 'ken' is one of those scrabble words that I'll never forget from childhood. :)
on Sticks and Stones Farm, Pot Luck Thursday Nights by <~> 19 Jan 2003, 4:10 AM
a moment, but doesn't "poem" for me.
on not even soup by <~> 19 Jan 2003, 4:09 AM
this I like. "well past dinner time" seems a bit prosaic for the rest in phrasing, but... I like.

and I've never really been comfortable with haikus giving information in the title that is not distinctly said (as opposed to hinted at) in the poem.
on blues by <~> 19 Jan 2003, 4:04 AM
I don't quite get this. what are they teeming with, what are they awash with?

awash me unclue-full.
replying on blues by <~> 19 Jan 2003, 4:03 AM
depends, really. some people say one thing, and others another. as such, yes and no, no and yes, and whatever. :)

some say that anything written in english can't be haiku. all the rest of the arguments stem from that, to some extent or another.
on 2 from 6 by INTRANSIT 19 Jan 2003, 4:01 AM
'till is spelled more properly 'til (as it's short for until, not untill)

I can't say I really get either of these, or them together, nor the title.
on Crystals In the snow by feathers68 19 Jan 2003, 3:58 AM
huh. I like.... the syllabic flow. it seems perfect. but I'd like a tad more rhyme, a hint other than the chopping of lines, the addition of commas where they wouldn't belong in prose, and use of imagery that this is poetry.

the statement/thought is cute, though.
on Forwords by INTRANSIT 19 Jan 2003, 3:57 AM
cute. :)

did you really mean "forwords" as opposed to "forwards"? I suppose you may have, though simple minds like mine may need it more blatant of a pun (less blatant?)... "for words".
replying on picture loops by pomoxo 19 Jan 2003, 3:56 AM
there's something to this and something not. it being deep into your head makes sense, but still while there we could have a guide making the seam between us and there smaller; ease us in and then splatter us against the wall. I need more of a cohesion (and a flow) to really get into a piece and be satisfied at the end, though I like your last stanza a lot for some reason.
on The importance of lighting by blackball 19 Jan 2003, 3:53 AM
didn't really work for me. the beginning was blah enough that the hah at the end didn't do it.
replying on Mystery by Katie2 17 Jan 2003, 5:51 AM
yeah -- I might need to recompile the database. kinda dreading something that may well break globealive, poemranker, nfg, and imaginaries all at once.