| Re: Melancholy Tale by aperfecttool77 |
27-Jan-03/10:00 AM |
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why did I read this? well, I didn't: I stopped at the trite questions.
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| Re: My bedtime story by famenglory |
27-Jan-03/10:00 AM |
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doesn't do it for me. too klunky.
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| Re: a comment on The Magical Hairy Chair by Nagi |
27-Jan-03/9:58 AM |
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| Re: a comment on one moment to the other by nentwined |
27-Jan-03/9:22 AM |
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well, I must say I appreciate the 8. I wouldn't mind posting more, myself, but it's rare that I actually have anything that I think might have a chance at being interesting to say. :)
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| Re: a comment on one moment to the other by nentwined |
27-Jan-03/8:49 AM |
aha, but it's really yesterday's. no dates on the "most recent" really makes things a bit surreal.
but thank you muchly just the same. :) [gobbles the 7 happily]
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| Re: Small Town Tavern by NinjaPoet |
26-Jan-03/12:00 PM |
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I wasn't sure where it was going, but I like where it ended. The middle was... eh. but good for the contrast, I suppose.
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| Re: Jesus was the Antichrist by TheDevil |
26-Jan-03/11:56 AM |
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eh. not horribly amusing.
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| Re: Stars of the sky by GTK |
26-Jan-03/11:56 AM |
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| Re: Snowblind by horus8 |
26-Jan-03/11:55 AM |
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| Re: Why my cock attracts idiots by horus8 |
26-Jan-03/8:31 AM |
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lol! asl! I am a mockery of mocking myself mocking mockery? 7.
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| Re: Perfect by wordontheverge |
26-Jan-03/8:27 AM |
revist?
not a fan of this style.
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| Re: mornings, january by <~> |
26-Jan-03/8:21 AM |
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I like how the third line sets scale when none was there before. :)
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| Re: The Ode that never was by Shardik |
26-Jan-03/8:20 AM |
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nicely done, for what it is. :) the only bit o' weakness I felt be the toad, and 'm not quite sure what.
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| Re: Jeremi and my cat oh and Elton by w~* ATHENA *~w |
26-Jan-03/7:30 AM |
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I'm with JC on this one. ish.
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| Re: alms by famenglory |
26-Jan-03/7:24 AM |
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| Re: Forgotten by famenglory |
26-Jan-03/7:22 AM |
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| Re: the play by famenglory |
26-Jan-03/7:21 AM |
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could use some serious work on delivery, I think. it's cute, but it doesn't flow, and that loses it for me. 4
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| Re: a comment on one moment to the other by nentwined |
26-Jan-03/7:13 AM |
hmm. okay.
this is basically meant to be a look at life, time, and memory. moments.
short moments, the little things from the typing of one letter to the next... are insignificant and tend to be forgotten.
moments also tend to be forgotten in long periods of time -- from birth to death, for instance, or... say, just twenty years. or that alzheimer's ditty someone posted.
just trying to put things in some sort of perspective (but pointedly, or lazily, leaving out the "middle" where things "matter").
I suppose I didn't do such a good job with the poem, though, if that's not there to be read.
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| Re: Sierra by crimzon |
26-Jan-03/7:08 AM |
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some scan problems, but overall nice. "her nose ... beautiful", for instance, stumbles me. I'd also put a line break between "her" and "she", and possible "she" and "her" to hint to the reader of the switch. 7.
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| Re: early morning write by crimzon |
26-Jan-03/7:06 AM |
this stumbles for me near 'belated', or perhaps 'today' -- one syllable too many?
ever patient should by hyphenated, I think.
"stealing its blanket of twilight" doesn't quite scan right, either.
I like this a lot, though. 8.
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