on Cicada Years by seanlb1
24 May 2004, 8:43 AM
Some nice angles in there, I find myself wondering what's it all about? A feel good poem well made.
on Its raining by caitydee
10 May 2004, 7:09 PM
"The rain storms" delete "rain"; not too shabby. Stays I think to the right side of pimple - but only barely.
What else u got? Fire it up.
What else u got? Fire it up.
on some deleted poem
14 May 2004, 5:41 AM
Nice, sparse - very much like the word "Sleam"
have you tried it without any punctuation?
have you tried it without any punctuation?
on The Ballad of Fraser Allonby Q.C., Barrister-At-Law by wFraser Allonby Q.C.w
14 May 2004, 8:46 AM
Hello Fraser! Welcome to Poemranker! Thanks for posting such a great poem! A/S/L?
on some deleted poem
14 May 2004, 10:24 AM
Okay. I'm bored with you now.
on some deleted poem
14 May 2004, 12:43 PM
I had such high hopes....
on Bashing through the woods by INTRANSIT
14 May 2004, 12:53 PM
This went completely over my head.
Here's a nine because I could never picture a snake with breasts, no matter how hard I tried - until now. Thank you.
Here's a nine because I could never picture a snake with breasts, no matter how hard I tried - until now. Thank you.
on some deleted poem
14 May 2004, 1:59 PM
--> "unchanged his expression"
can u do something with that?
can u do something with that?
on In the Land of Bob by Bobjim
14 May 2004, 2:02 PM
liking the title.
on Washing-up Hands and Disgruntled Underarms by fevriere
14 May 2004, 2:06 PM
did you mean "hart" is in a male [red] deer?
quite nice, though maybe a few too many "is"s and "was"s
quite nice, though maybe a few too many "is"s and "was"s
on On the Discovery of the Hated Tree and Another T.V. Dinner by MacFrantic
17 May 2004, 9:10 AM
Arborists, I think. And "we [treepeople]"
Good rhyme with contraire. Nice title.
Ever read "poison tree"?
Good rhyme with contraire. Nice title.
Ever read "poison tree"?
on Sarah's Song by wilco
18 May 2004, 6:52 PM
Pretty.
I'd like it flow a little more - quite a few one line sentences and the many prepositions, articles and pronouns don't help the cause.
Still, some lovely language in there.
I'd like it flow a little more - quite a few one line sentences and the many prepositions, articles and pronouns don't help the cause.
Still, some lovely language in there.
on some deleted poem
20 May 2004, 2:05 PM
yes - a break now and then is, as Martha would say, a Good Thing.
on Something's gone wrong by zodiac
21 May 2004, 3:45 AM
eh. I thik you did some wrong things in here on purpose, but its popular; generated lots of interest and votes - so 3 points for that.
on Tony Blair's sagging purple johnny by Stephen Robins
21 May 2004, 1:23 PM
Another diaper-full of the best you can do.
And you spelled "color" wrong, again.
And you spelled "color" wrong, again.
Yep, thats a good one; good use of the form.
Consider replacing "Walking", it's implied and the space could be better used to express the mood.
the wine/mine rhyme, btw is a good coupling and the long "i" sounds work well.
when you say "contemplating a swift descent" are you implying she will go down [on you] quickly (or vice versa), or are you saying something will be leaving soon and quickly?
Consider replacing "Walking", it's implied and the space could be better used to express the mood.
the wine/mine rhyme, btw is a good coupling and the long "i" sounds work well.
when you say "contemplating a swift descent" are you implying she will go down [on you] quickly (or vice versa), or are you saying something will be leaving soon and quickly?
on some deleted poem
22 May 2004, 12:54 PM
Good form Sasha. I like the topic too - they are strange birds, someone was telling me about them just this week.
on some deleted poem
22 May 2004, 12:56 PM
hey ed, not bad, not bad at all - I'm not crazy about a rhyming cinquain tho.
on some deleted poem
22 May 2004, 1:00 PM
Excellent.