on An Ode To Dark Angel, Private Investigator by tolstoyleo
1 Jul 2004, 7:03 PM
Unfitting a "man" of his stature.
on Lady Bradburyâs Excursion by Dovina
1 Jul 2004, 6:58 PM
Dovina - this is somewhat strange.
it really is.
it really is.
on Recycled Stardust by Quarton
1 Jul 2004, 6:54 PM
With the vocabulary and the big telling that comes from the big words this quickly becomes a tough sell.
on Helo everybody is limerck time!! by DR Limerick
1 Jul 2004, 6:52 PM
heheh - not bad. Dual question marks are good there.
on finally i say goodbye by francis nor capule
1 Jul 2004, 6:51 PM
The repetition helps this, I think - but the theme is so often done that reader sympathy is difficult.
replying on The Death of Love by donmiguel1960
30 Jun 2004, 5:02 AM
feels more like I'm being boarded by the parrot...
Here - have a cracker, cracker.
Here - have a cracker, cracker.
replying on The Death of Love by donmiguel1960
28 Jun 2004, 5:55 PM
I don't know Zodiac, how?
You and your riddles.
You and your riddles.
on Black streets of Hackney by cpill
28 Jun 2004, 5:54 PM
Well, a sonnet.
But the identical rhyme , and wait - well, no rhyme scheme either. Hmm.
The language sounds like you are faking things English, strangely enough.
It is almost good, but somehow it smells crippled - mayhaps on purpose.
But the identical rhyme , and wait - well, no rhyme scheme either. Hmm.
The language sounds like you are faking things English, strangely enough.
It is almost good, but somehow it smells crippled - mayhaps on purpose.
on Commandment One by TLRufener
28 Jun 2004, 5:28 PM
Sheepheard is, wrong.
The premise of writing to something one doesn't believe in gives me pause.
Though I did like that "Dear God" song a while back.
The premise of writing to something one doesn't believe in gives me pause.
Though I did like that "Dear God" song a while back.
on The Death of Love by donmiguel1960
28 Jun 2004, 5:25 PM
really aught to reword that "whom" line, even if it is correct it is awkward in this context, imho.
Not crazy about breathing devoid, either - sorry.
Not crazy about breathing devoid, either - sorry.
replying on upon driving through rural Washington by david
27 Jun 2004, 3:33 PM
Once again you mistake a comment for a poem.
on Ayudame (Help Me) by | Broken |
27 Jun 2004, 4:50 AM
the use of Ayudame is the best part of this; elevates it.
replying on Someday Soon by Drunk Russian Poet
26 Jun 2004, 5:09 PM
I have to admit I thought the same thing.
on Interrogation #1086637 by MacFrantic
26 Jun 2004, 3:40 PM
2 spelling errors take away from it: consciouseness, akward.
fine otherwise.
fine otherwise.
on upon driving through rural Washington by david
26 Jun 2004, 3:35 PM
"distant whelm" is very nice.
quite a few nice bits in here as I read it again. I hope I don't seem to ignore those when I say much of it is smothered by one, two and three letter crap words.
Try a version without them for your own viewing, tell me if you don't like it.
quite a few nice bits in here as I read it again. I hope I don't seem to ignore those when I say much of it is smothered by one, two and three letter crap words.
Try a version without them for your own viewing, tell me if you don't like it.