on take a jump with me by hendrimike
16 Apr 2006, 11:02 AM
decent ode, but sort of stalled and unconvincing. *6*
on Another quarter. by richa
16 Apr 2006, 10:56 AM
Th last two lines are great. "I sniff" and "frozen pie" seemed a little off to me. *7*
on Skellington Bakery by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
16 Apr 2006, 10:51 AM
Very original, very intriguing. I though this was a fantastic endeavor. *10*
on Narcolepsy by Sunny
14 Apr 2006, 12:53 PM
I admire your ability to invent simple and beautiful phrases, however, this does not flow well and you seemed to struggle with how abstract you wanted the form to be. *7*
replying on Embrace by MacFrantic
13 Apr 2006, 7:59 PM
I could add commas, but that would ruin the form. And I'm sorry if my poem doesn't say much to you, but it wasn't written for you(I hope).
replying on Or Outward by MacFrantic
9 Apr 2006, 6:27 PM
Visual rhythm. I didn't want the aesthetics of the poem to be thrown off even a little bit. I had to sacrifice a bit of grammar to do so. Last I checked, intentional grammar flaws aren't frowned upon.
replying on Or Outward by MacFrantic
9 Apr 2006, 12:57 PM
Maybe you should have read my previous comment when I explained why I didn't.
replying on Or Outward by MacFrantic
9 Apr 2006, 12:19 PM
Oh, get off your high horse, you're losing oxygen to the head.
replying on Or Outward by MacFrantic
9 Apr 2006, 9:52 AM
The Furies were mythical Greek goddesses who were basically the original "Avengers." I thought capitalization would throw off the rhythm a bit. I hope this unfries your brain a bit. I think knowing this helps interpretation of the poem a lot.
replying on Or Outward by MacFrantic
8 Apr 2006, 6:49 PM
I, as many others do, believe that the questions you ask only lend themselves to your conclusion about what the poem means. It doesn't matter what I think about the poem, truly.
replying on Or Outward by MacFrantic
8 Apr 2006, 12:23 PM
There were no comments. So, I'm gald you personally prefered to leave one.
on Shy, quiet by Ranger
4 Apr 2006, 11:50 PM
Wow, this is great, except for the way the first line is broken up. Would've done it differently. So, *9*
on Explorations Underground by ecargo
4 Apr 2006, 11:40 PM
I love the last line, money. *9*
on The Peccadillary by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
18 Mar 2006, 12:12 AM
Sweet lord 'twas remarkable. I do hope you do more. Particularly funny: "To go on a bender with communion wine." and "To address a Knight of the Realm as a 'Mr'." *10*
on Looking Back by x0lovelylarnx0
18 Mar 2006, 12:08 AM
Good "conversational" piece, but a bit lacking as a poem. Was "elementry" intentional? Please say it was. *6*
on Harp Song of the Prawne Men by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
26 Feb 2006, 11:16 AM
Magnifico! I love this. Ahaha. *sigh* *10*
on Desperate Revival by Silverjackel
26 Feb 2006, 11:10 AM
This is really pretty ugly. You need to stop using a dictionary, and if you are not, learn to simplify your language and still convey the same message. You conflate garbage words like "mope" with a misplace "inaugurate". *5*