on Can you believe this piece of shit was #1? by horus8
30 Jul 2003, 8:23 AM
Great poem, love the personification of faith, and the hand towels. You're a genius when you wanna, a poet always. Kisses.
on Sonnet for a Suicide by <~>
29 Jul 2003, 2:28 PM
You can write anything. I say we send our resumes to Madison Ave.
on Taurus women and the pride by Shardik
29 Jul 2003, 2:14 PM
Touche, mon ami, mon frere. '... find that tether between men and my wild stance' ' I roar for your warm blood' ' covering your death face...' very good, excellent. Last Stanza I love, especially as an ending. Good structure. What's " 'ntil " I've never seen that before?
on Ode to a Pizza Hut Roach by http://mulberryfairy
27 Jul 2003, 12:02 PM
Oh, so you know which lives are worth saving and which aren't? Interesting. This isn't poetry, it's a manifesto. I think short story or any prose form is more your style.
replying on #1 entry from Chico, the star stalker on Pico by <{Baba^Yaga}>
27 Jul 2003, 11:58 AM
and they all smell of kimchi and they all own cheap clothing shops called Fashion Lady or Fashion 4 U or Fashion Love or Fashion Joy and we you try to return something they yell at you "You no undastan! No refun! Ekchain only! Undastan? Ekchain only!!!
on Memoirs II by http://mulberryfairy
27 Jul 2003, 11:29 AM
You have an eye for what matters, now can you possibly make these lines sing? Too prosy, too conversational.
on Death on my arm by INTRANSIT
27 Jul 2003, 11:27 AM
Nice
on Yellow Star by Mr Pig
22 Jul 2003, 3:35 PM
Listen,
If any mother's child dies
It does not matter how.
Wicked is wicked anyway you slice it. Let us say my boy
Yes my sweet boy Cancer maybe?
Or prejudice?
If any mother's child dies
It does not matter how.
Wicked is wicked anyway you slice it. Let us say my boy
Yes my sweet boy Cancer maybe?
Or prejudice?
on Yellow Star by Mr Pig
22 Jul 2003, 3:29 PM
Mr. Pig, Mr. Pig, you overwhelm
Like a waltz with too much structure, you send me
spinning round the room.
Less is sometimes more.
But still I love you so
I hate to upset this unique cart.
Like a waltz with too much structure, you send me
spinning round the room.
Less is sometimes more.
But still I love you so
I hate to upset this unique cart.
on Your Heart is my Heaven by Free2Rhyme15
22 Jul 2003, 3:21 PM
Sweet dear child, this poem of yours, what can I possibly say? Despite her obvious faults she is a true real beauty. "She pasted away" here you have stumpled onto the genius of words. Good for you, she needs an edit, the way a lovely girl could use a good haircut and a decent pair of shoes.
on Optimism, pessimism and my quarter theory by INTRANSIT
15 Jul 2003, 10:30 AM
There's an abrupt change between truck and car at the end, it disturbs this otherwise excellent poem.
on SILENT ECHOES by Tahlia
15 Jul 2003, 10:26 AM
Don't like the ... after own; mis-leading. Edit out 'my universe'.
on unsent by Bill Z Bub
15 Jul 2003, 10:22 AM
I have a problem with 'that' in the 3rd-to-last line. Could it be "will" or perhaps just move straight to slowly?
on thought & memory by Bill Z Bub
15 Jul 2003, 10:15 AM
I have a problem with 'infinitesimal'. Otherwise perfect, especially the last stanza.
on My Goddess... by loneshadow29
15 Jul 2003, 10:09 AM
the first three lines are very good.
on Death In The Cherry Brook Nursing Home by scitz
15 Jul 2003, 9:52 AM
Life is for the living, and when you're old a comfy chair is worth the loss of a few principles. Nice flow, succinct.
on the godself within by crwncka1
8 Jul 2003, 4:00 PM
masturbatic
on Pilgrimage by Christof
1 Jul 2003, 12:21 AM
Great cadence.
I've missed you
You end to quickly, as richa said, you shut down before it's really begun.
I've missed you
You end to quickly, as richa said, you shut down before it's really begun.
on MotherF*ckers Who Fuck Above/Two Story Apartment by JoyLuck
26 Jun 2003, 10:17 AM
You are briliant, dealing out these dada postcards. I truly love them.