Re: finally i say goodbye by francis nor capule	Dovina 24.52.157.176	30-Jun-04/1:04 PM
Though this appears to be heartfelt and a thought worthy of poetry, the presentation falls short of one of the best definitions of love I've read and a touching ode to a fallen sister, both by the same poet. It's not just you; a spirit of depression seems gripping poemranker like a disease in a beehive. I feel like a prodical daughter returning to find the houses boarded up and the homefolk moping around.
Re: finally i say goodbye by francis nor capule	Nateislate 67.42.43.177	30-Jun-04/1:07 PM
Good poem. For my $.02, I didn't like this line: i will take solace in the fact that i have been in love The poem is otherwise taking-care-of-business, let's-move-on. That line felt out of place, too touchy-feely and like you're justifying past mistakes. Said another way, 'solace' is an emotion word stuck in the middle of a poem centered on logic and thought.
Re: a Waste of Space by thepinkbunnyofdoom	Dovina 24.52.157.176	30-Jun-04/1:22 PM
Yes, I read it anyway, and it's as good as most of what's come down lately.
regarding some deleted poem...	Bachus 24.130.62.63	30-Jun-04/2:55 PM
Shit, it's unfit to boil.
Re: afraid by hbhpoems	zodiac 65.161.41.48	29-Jun-04/10:43 PM
Are you related to Blindpoetry?
Re: Little Girl by hbhpoems	Dovina 64.173.77.254	29-Jun-04/4:01 PM
This is good, except for telling her what to do in the last two lines.
Re: The Weaver's Curse by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.	Dovina 64.173.77.254	29-Jun-04/4:23 PM
The Mother's Curse A noise in the dark I tremble in sheer terror - An escaped son?
regarding some deleted poem...	Dovina 64.173.77.254	29-Jun-04/4:31 PM
Too General. Spelling and grammar errors detract. A good thought like this needs focus.
Re: Ethnic Smells by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.	wFraser Allonby Q.C.w 203.143.237.150	29-Jun-04/9:28 PM
Talking of ethnic smells, look what I found in Singapore! http://tinyurl.com/273w3 http://tinyurl.com/yrbnh
Re: Little Girl by hbhpoems	nentwined 66.92.28.14	30-Jun-04/11:16 AM
spelling and grammar would help this. still too much telling for me.
Re: a Waste of Space by thepinkbunnyofdoom	tolstoyleo 172.193.58.15	30-Jun-04/4:30 AM
I made a word: pop-tarded. It's my nice way of saying retarded. I really liked this poem. I liked it so much, I printed it out and used it in place of my toilet paper. -0-
regarding some deleted poem...	tolstoyleo 172.193.58.15	30-Jun-04/4:36 AM
You might want to get a study guide to help you out with Ulysses... -9-
regarding some deleted poem...	tolstoyleo 172.193.58.15	30-Jun-04/4:37 AM
I don't want to see your crotch sweat, But very cutely writ. -7-
Re: Thong Thoo by fatmansinging	tolstoyleo 172.193.58.15	30-Jun-04/4:40 AM
You sound like my friend who has a very bad lisp... and speaking of... why does the word lisp end in "sp?" I gave it a 3
regarding some deleted poem...	tolstoyleo 172.193.58.15	30-Jun-04/4:46 AM
how come "have" doesn't rhyme with the rest of it?
Re: A Time for More War by dougsoderstrom	tolstoyleo 172.193.58.15	30-Jun-04/5:06 AM
well... weren't you wrong!!!
Re: My Friend? by Blade	ARTIE 66.68.146.139	30-Jun-04/10:14 AM
Hmmmmmm... It would make more sense to me if it were "by barstools that have Gone-awry-a." They have no clout whatsoever.
Re: Blobby song$ by MR Blobby	ARTIE 66.68.146.139	30-Jun-04/10:25 AM
Damn! All I see is a blob upon my sheetmusic! I had a playfully good time trying to put a tune to this, but alas, blobby blob, blobby blob, I lacked the syncopation. It's nice to know you're loved though.
Re: afraid by hbhpoems	fair12 66.84.225.2	30-Jun-04/11:54 AM
I'm afraid I have to agree with the others - a tale with no expression... A shrink is an amazing use of money and really can help with your issues.
Re: afraid by hbhpoems	richa 81.178.226.24	30-Jun-04/12:14 PM
Afraid is a very weak impact word. You should try to avoid labelling emotions, use image to portray. Also this could do with cutting down, make the reader think over the words rather than read through to get to the punch. Spellcheck would not go amiss.