Comments byricha, 881–900 back. Include replies

on SANATORIUM by Tahlia 12 Jul 2003, 12:07 PM
quite simple but clear with a few interesting lines

I think to say minds are jailed in madness is not warranted. And if it is you have not argued it

overall pleasant though
on Memoirs of a Monk - St. Screamer by SupremeDreamer 15 Jul 2003, 3:44 AM
quite like the occult/religeous wordlplay. The end seems a bit obscure to me though

overall good
on some deleted poem 12 Jul 2003, 12:26 PM
I quite like thone word style, but is this really the insight of an addict?
on Death In The Cherry Brook Nursing Home by scitz 15 Jul 2003, 7:22 AM
Sid isn't a bastard, bereft of innocence and idealism he has embraced pragmatism. This happens in old age.

oh yeh and poem is good too
on thought & memory by Bill Z Bub 15 Jul 2003, 3:42 AM
nice fast flow and good word selection. I prefer verses 2 and three, the first uses surfaces that appear quite decadent
on The War and Dance of The Undertaker by OnTheOtherHand 15 Jul 2003, 3:47 AM
some nice lines 'pension for your chore' etc but rather a lot of plain narrative to tell the story. Much to commend though
on Acoustic by zzinnia66 14 Jul 2003, 11:27 AM
I like these little packaged thoughts. It is probably easier to make a whole out of such a small verse. But nevertheless you have done it perfectly
on SILENT ECHOES by Tahlia 14 Jul 2003, 8:23 AM
yes nicely put together
on some deleted poem 14 Jul 2003, 8:27 AM
I wish people wouldn't flash about words like insane. Writers are supposed to preserve language not demean it
on some deleted poem 12 Jul 2003, 12:04 PM
really I think you need to think about what you feel seperate to anyone else and your communications will be more effective.

things like heartache are just blanket terms, they mean nothing
on unsent by Bill Z Bub 14 Jul 2003, 8:51 AM
lots of non-sequitors on poemranker like 'give you my breath' the follow up about 'take it at midnight' made my day.

Good poem, tight
on My Goddess... by loneshadow29 14 Jul 2003, 8:53 AM
lucid, but a bit saccharin and I cringed imagining you saying it to someone

not bad though
on Lullaby (Finding Peace) by Miggy 14 Jul 2003, 8:56 AM
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. I think that was the effect you were going for

kind of soothing
on New Forms by Rodavlas 14 Jul 2003, 8:58 AM
yes nice little rhythm running through this

I'd get rid of hate....heat it seems to clah
on A Brand New Eye by EAger to Offend 14 Jul 2003, 9:00 AM
third verse is the best, a pleasant read
on some deleted poem 12 Jul 2003, 12:13 PM
a bit jargonised I think (soul mind eternity etc). And the flow is a bit off which is important for a lyric/ode.


and you don't believe you are dead? I think descarte sorted that one out a while ago

overall better than a lot
on In the Vicinity of Dreams by Blue Magpie 13 Jul 2003, 6:18 AM
very good.

A complete poem gentle 'the vicinity of dreams' is kind of modern too
on The Eye by Enki 10 Jul 2003, 4:27 AM
I wouldn't bother with the rhyme. This poem pretends to be profound then rhymes dashing and gnashing. It just seems a bit daft
on Optimism, pessimism and my quarter theory by INTRANSIT 13 Jul 2003, 1:28 PM
quite, and isn't saying half empty stating that it has been emptied to half its amount. And showing concern for its half emptiness?
on TPBOD Joins a pack of wolves by Luzr 10 Jul 2003, 9:55 AM
oh I thought this was quite good