on My Soul is Stopping by somemorepoetry
27 Aug 2004, 3:28 PM
nice. -10-
on TRUTH by somemorepoetry
27 Aug 2004, 3:29 PM
hilarious. :)
on metaphorically speaking by somemorepoetry
27 Aug 2004, 3:30 PM
evocative.
on corrupting you by skaskowski
27 Aug 2004, 2:56 PM
twisted.
I like. :)
I like. :)
on we can't walk forever by somemorepoetry
27 Aug 2004, 3:31 PM
you can. you can walk forever.
on Penumbra by klosterfobik
27 Aug 2004, 2:56 PM
another one for the love/above list!
I like 'clandestine comet'.
I like 'clandestine comet'.
on it's all quite obviously one big joke by somemorepoetry
27 Aug 2004, 3:27 PM
I really like the flow of this. Bits meander too much for me, but I like it.
on My chair by somemorepoetry
27 Aug 2004, 3:26 PM
I like it, though I do not get the _need_, which seems important to the piece as a whole.
on A friendly conversation with a Native American by somemorepoetry
27 Aug 2004, 3:32 PM
I like it except for the one syllable of "Yeah" towards the end. Well, maybe the last three lines are a bit off for me. I think it works better without, though the tie-back to buffalo is nice.
on We are what we hold by somemorepoetry
27 Aug 2004, 3:36 PM
agree. not bad, not good. though perhaps you've spoiled me now on other poems of yours.
on Eagledale Drive by klosterfobik
27 Aug 2004, 2:54 PM
very evocative, though I find I want to know more how you were lost. Is it just the time?
I like the line "Can you believe the gray wind of used to be and winter?"
"simple perfect" -> "simple perfection"? Or are you making a grammatical pun of some sort that I'm failing to get?
I like the line "Can you believe the gray wind of used to be and winter?"
"simple perfect" -> "simple perfection"? Or are you making a grammatical pun of some sort that I'm failing to get?
on Countervail by D. $ Fontera
27 Aug 2004, 10:59 AM
I don't think I really get what this is saying.
on Oh So Hollow by etherealmaiden
27 Aug 2004, 11:01 AM
the flow is very solid; the content blase.
on Smoking Skies by Enchantres
27 Aug 2004, 10:57 AM
breath -> breathe; it's -> its
the rule to put a comma wherever you want a breath is simply wrong.
the rule to put a comma wherever you want a breath is simply wrong.
on Internal Dialogue (Mental Cock-Slapping & Anal Discipline) by DreamerSupreme
27 Aug 2004, 11:03 AM
boring and repetitive.
on Hold and hold me hold tight by somemorepoetry
27 Aug 2004, 10:55 AM
this is pretty cool. I was a bit worried by the gimmick early on, but... it flows nicely; definitely captures something and shares it. :)
on Beached (Or how I learned to give up the day) by Jeremi B. Handrinos
27 Aug 2004, 2:47 PM
very cute. tightly done. silly, but tightly done and in that silliness is a nice contrast.
on A Piñon Planter by Dovina
27 Aug 2004, 2:51 PM
cute. odd. definitely a difficult subject matter to try to make someone take seriously. Delving into the bowels so explicity does not do it for me, I think. Bits here and there don't cohere for me.
on Rapid Eye Movement by wilco
27 Aug 2004, 2:49 PM
I think the title is too ... blatant ... for the rest of the poem. The poem is very nice. Agree with the semi-awkwardness of "nothing makes the night seem lonely like". Maybe just "nothing makes the night more lonely than"? Thoughts.